Troubled Times

Just yesterday Brian called me on the telephone to tell me that one of the companies that he sells his cabinets to will now be purchasing from another vendor. He was crushed. I could sense it in his voice and as I listened I also discovered a sense of pleading. The full impact of what he was telling me didn't really hit me until I had hung up the telephone. That's when I realized that I wouldn't be able to come up with his half of the mortgage payment and also pay the bills to keep us afloat.

My first reaction.......shock! (only because I kept my head in the sand thinking that the economy would never really affect US. Why that only happened to those OTHER people!! By the way...don't take this attitude because nothing could be farther (is that a word?) from the truth, and when it happens...well, you just won't feel so stupid and unprepared)
So...the second reaction was probably what I have done best my entire life...
I cried. But I cried alone and I felt awful. Awful for me, for the dogs, for the house, and of course for Brian. I immediately went to my checkbook and my pile of bills and started to crunch numbers.

Normally none of this would really phase me if I was in my 30's or my 40's but midway into my 50's, well that's a different story! My body and mind doesn't respond as it once did to stress. Perhaps it has a bit to do with age or the aging process. What I would have done in my 30's would be to just go out and find a part time job! And trust me...I haven't ruled this out for myself as of yet. I'm just trying to figure out the timing of working all night at one job 5 days a week, coming home and sleeping (figuring out how much I really need to stay healthy) and then finding a job that will allow me to work a few hours each day. I did this right after 9/11 and worked for a little over 4 years at two jobs. It wasn't pretty....but I was living on my own and was scared to be put out of my apartment at the time.

Fear is a great motivator....(more on that in a future blog)

So....Brian came home from work yesterday and he was wrought with despair at the idea of closing his shop at the end of the month. I know that he wants to fight to stay open. I know that he will pour over his price lists and cut this and that to get the orders coming in... I know this. But the one thing that I also know is that the companies that he will sell those cabinets to will NOT lower their prices to keep a steady flow of orders coming to him. They will jack up their prices and make a huge profit and then he will scratch his head and ask, "Why?"

So for now....I'm going to keep crunching numbers. I'm going to pray really hard and long so that I may keep my job at Wynn LV/Encore and I'm also going to look for a second job.

For those of you who actually read these blogs of mine, would you mind stopping right now, bowing your head and asking God if he will guide and direct us and to PLEASE help us to maintain this house and be good stewards of what he has given us???

Thanks.....I know that without His help.....we all have absolutely nothing.