Today just happens to be one of those "hard" days of living for me. You see...I'm waiting to find out if the bank approves the paperwork to buy a house. Well, it's not just "a house"...it's a wonderful house that I could easily make into my sanctuary. A place of retreat from all of the crap that we go through at work, the insanity of those on the highway getting to and from work and just plain ordinary mean people.
The house is located near my sister and brother in law's home. It's located between North Decatur and Bradley on Farm Road. The house has an open and very spacious living room, dining room and kitchen and is all easily seen from the front door. The master bedroom is plenty big for me and the two smaller bedrooms will take care of the need to have a library and one for anyone who would like to visit me.
Brain and I made an offer on this house on the 11th of July...it's a bank repo...and the bank is taking it's sweet time while collecting other offers on it. We were told that tomorrow (Monday, July 21st) we will receive the answer from the bank as to whether our offer has been accepted or not.
One of the worst things for me is to begin dreaming about owning a property and then find out that I have to wake up because I wasn't approved. I do take this personally, although I realize that the bank doesn't even know who I am or what I am all about! It feels like failure to me when decisions come in that say..."Nope. Sorry. You aren't the right person for this property!" It hurts because I've already personalized each room with paint colors and trim and what will go here and what will look nice there....and the first turkey with all of the trimmings, where the Christmas tree will stand, and if I ever get to see my grandson where the Easter bunny will hide his basket...etc. I just go off dreaming...
I just don't know how to handle rejection. I was never good at that. I suppose that the bank will look at someone who has a fist full of cash and a perfect credit score. I won't be the name that will get the bank seal of approval. But I do know in my heart that the coffee tasted good while I was dreaming, my kids looked so happy as they came through the front door and said to me..."OH MOM...THIS is soooo nice!" The turkey was perfectly cooked, with all of the trimmings....The Christmas tree looked so beautiful with presents all around....and that little Easter basket was right behind the closet door all the time! OH....and for Halloween....there were so many kids that I gave out the best candy in the world to....
Yeah, it's fun to dream. But sometimes it's just so damn hard to wake up and continue on....
