MORGAN WAS TOO SICK

My grief is still too strong as I write this.

In this photograph you will see Gordie, my male shih tsu. Look closely though and you will see that he crawled underneath Morgan to support her from the cold tile. I had put her sweater on her because she was shivering and not feeling well. Gordie's love and loyalty was amazing for his half sister.

On Friday May 23, 2008 I had to make a difficult decision with regards to my little female shih tsu. She had been ill for about a week with a slight cough. Although it came and went throughout the week, it never fully went away. I was concerned but thought that this wasn't something that was too serious. She began to withdrawal from her favorite foods and she drank enormous amounts of water. This made me think that she might have had canine diabetes. She started to become lethargic over the next few days, no interest in much of anything, a lot of sleeping and I soon noticed that it seemed as though her head had a wobble when she sat up. Brian and I decided to take her to the vet to see what could be wrong with her. The vet said that she was toxic with ammonia in her system (her liver couldn't filter out the ammonia as in dogs with fully functioning livers.) and suggested that she stay overnight to receive IV fluids to flush out the ammonia. I agreed that this was a good idea, thinking that in the morning she would be perky once again.

The next morning, this would be May 23, 2008, the vet called and said that Morgan was no different than when I brought her in the night before. She was non-responsive and he was concerned about getting her stabilized. He called a specialist to review her blood test and the specialist thought that this was test results from a dead dog. The specialist said that Morgan was a risk for the liver shunt operation even if she did stabilize. My heart began to break. The vet suggested that we try an antibiotic because he did feel that there was a seondary infection somewhere and that this may be part of the liver shunt problem to begin with. He did not want to give up on her so easily. I agreed to allow him to give her an antibiotic that morning but after thinking about what she was up against I called him back to tell him that I thought that it was time that I put her down. He listened, understood and agreed to withhold any more antibiotics from her treatment. Brian and I drove to the clinic to sign the papers to have her put down and for her to join a communal cremation.

Then we were taken to a small room where they brought her out to us and laid her on the towel covered table. She never moved for us. Although her eyes were open, I could see that it was her time to move on and my time to break inside. I gave her a kiss, told her that she had been a wonderful dog and that it was okay for her to leave me. Brian stood behind me, supporting me and cried too. She had been such a huge part in our lives over the almost past two years. With that we asked for the doctor to return to the room where he tried his best to console both of us and told him that it was time to let her go.

He told us that he was so sorry, gently picked Morgan up from the table and carried her into the back room where she would find her end.

We left the clinic alone and broken.

Morgan was one of the best dogs that I had ever cared for....and will always hold a place in my heart.

As for her mate, Gordie....he's lost. He looks for her in every sound that the house makes, or that comes from outside. His appetite isn't as good. I can definitely see the loss that he suffers. Brian and I have considered another dog for his companionship and will begin looking soon.